What's All That Noise?

I was sitting at the computer, of course minding my own business of chatting on email or browsing the Internet aimlessly when the little gremlin creeps up behind. I nearly jumped out of my seat, because her stealth ninja feet could not be heard on the newly-laid carpet in our apartment. Sure, if you weigh under 40 pounds you don't have to worry much about making a lot of noise until the very last second. And, it wasn't funny when she looked at me and smiled. She's not cute, she's evil. I can prove it.

Her moves and words are so precise. It's unconscionable what she is able to achieve in only her first 3 years.

So, eventually I calmed myself down after pushing my eyeballs back into my sockets, my heart pumping so much blood through my head. I was nearly nauseated, but I kept my cool and asked, "What's up, buddy?"

You have to speak cordially and warmly, otherwise your life is in serious risk. You can die a brain-numbing scream or a deep bite to your own skin puncturing flesh, and stunned by the shock, you will certainly bleed to death.

Oh, yes! Parenting is this hazardous and gruesome. When you're with your kids it's almost like taking care of double the people, because they all have a good and bad side which they nurture, depending on how much you piss them off. And, it also depends if you're prepared to answer to, what's all that noise in the background.